"Thank you for gifting me this birth"
1st of September, 2005
Dear Helen,
You asked me to write a few words about what ‘choice’ has meant to me. I want to tell you what your care and Alistair’s birth has given me.
The slogan for your practice is ‘midwives offering choice’. You provided me with the option of a home birth, a family birth and a birth that was in my control. Neither of the hospitals in my area were able to provide me with any reassurance that my choices would be valid in their systems – in fact, they indicated the opposite. Therefore, your genuine offer of choice was welcomed with relief by myself and my husband.
Giving me choices and accepting my choices unquestioningly empowered me to labour and birth in the way that was best for my baby, my family, and me. Your philosophies regarding pregnancy and birth were similar to my own. You have a woman-centred focus with an holistic approach to care. You didn’t just measure my blood pressure, you asked about me. From recognizing the role my obstetrician played in my antenatal and
postnatal care, to having my children ‘catch’ the baby and ‘cut’ the cord, videotaping the birth and being happy to receive and respond to my constant stream of emails – you accepted me for who I was and that I knew my needs best. You also provided information on many of the choices I faced, including perspectives from both sides of an issue, ensuring my decisions were informed, thoughtful and deliberate. And you never chose to influence me in the decision-making process. I felt that you trusted me to be capable of making the choices I needed to make.
Your belief in me gave me the confidence to believe in myself. Your acceptance of my choices helped me to believe in those choices. I stopped doubting myself. When finally the time for Alistair’s birth arrived, I felt strong, able and powerful. Because I could trust in me, I could trust in you, and I relaxed. Your physical contact with me during the labour was the one thing that contradicted my birth plan. That I welcomed your touch is an indication of how much our relationship developed during those last few weeks. You acknowledged me as the mother as soon as you walked in our door and you maintained that sense of respect throughout the labour and birth. Your touch was responsive and sensitive, never forced or controlling. The birth was a wonderful, happy birth and my baby is just beautiful.
I have a beautiful memory to sustain me. I feel like a different person. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for gifting me this birth.
Sincerely,
Michelle S Barton
“It made such a huge difference to the whole labour and pregnancy, I had access to information I never knew of with previous pregnancies”. (client)
